Crest Professional
I bought new toothpaste the other day. That may not seem like much but choosing a paste has become an extremely stressful, bi-monthly event in my life. I’ve been a Crest guy for a long time. It used to be easy. There was Crest, Colgate and maybe Aquafresh, and then the orthopedic brands like Sensodyne. […]
Drug Dealing Inc.
I am sympathetic to people with health problems. I have health problems too. Tylenol 3’s have pulled me through some pretty tough times. That said, I have no general problem with the people that make the drugs either. They have a product, and have spent millions to research it. Heck, they paid all those folks […]
The Cult of Ikea
I am a heterosexual male in my mid-thirties. I like sports, prefer jeans and T-shirts, love junk food and harbor a secret desire to own a John Deere Gator for no other reason than to drive it in circles around my backyard. I am a guy, yet I couldn’t wait to read the brand new […]
Divorced a Ford Lately?
Has the Ford Motor Company completely lost its marbles? It is possible, what with imports repeatedly smacking the once mighty domestics upside the head. Times are tough for the big three. Over at Ford they claim to have set a new course. This latest turnaround attempt has been dubbed “bold moves.” “Bold moves” is right. […]
Billboard Ballyhoo
Some people don’t like billboards. In fact, they despise them. It’s a hatred that pulses deep within the core of their very existence. Mention billboards to these individuals and you can actually observe the aneurism forming in their frontal lobe. You see, in their view, billboards are an obstruction to the real beauty of our […]
Messin’ with Sasquatch
In elementary school I devoured all the books and magazine articles about Sasquatch or Bigfoot that I could find. The whole idea of a giant ape-man wandering around the woods, while fascinating, managed to scare the hell out of me. When it came to camping I was convinced it was only a matter of time […]
Snakes on a Plane
I don’t like horror movies. They hold no attraction for me of any kind. I tend to believe that folks who enjoy such fare possess deep seated, anti-social tendencies which are masking severe emotional problems. In short, there is something seriously wrong with them. And when it comes to snakes, well they interest me even […]
Eat FreshhHH!
I cannot stay quiet about this any longer. You see, I love Subway. I eat there every chance I get. So much so in fact, that I hate complaining about them in any fashion, but it has become so serious that I feel I have a duty to say something. Their current ads are infecting […]
Dairy Queen Insanity
Have you seen it yet? You must have. That Dairy Queen commercial. The one where the guy on the airplane puts his Blizzard down while he tries to load his bag into the overhead compartment. The bald guy in the seat next to our hero sees his opportunity and begins furiously eating his ice cream. […]
Parlez-Vous France?
Apparently, Paris needs tourists. Displaying the special brand of wisdom only marketing whizzes possess, we now get to see a rather classic French issue confronted head on. To market travel to France the powers that be are actually using the, shall we say, standoffish (some would say rude, insensitive and boorish, but not me) behavior […]